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Deep Wounds That Block Abundance & 3 Ways to Heal Them

By Julie Ann Cairns | Abundance

Jun 24

This is a longer post, but I it’s really worth reading to the end.

One of the things that I’ve been pondering lately is the difference between unconscious beliefs, and the deeper wounds that often lie underneath them.

(Later on in this blog I’ll share 3 powerful techniques for unconscious wound healing).

But first, what’s the difference between a belief and a wound?

In my book The Abundance Code: Busting the 7 Money Myths for a Rich Life Now (available on Amazon here), I take people through a step-by-step method to reprogram the top 7 limiting beliefs about money, wealth and success that most people have. When you’re able to reprogram these beliefs and replace them with beliefs that support your success, amazing and wonderful transformations happen in people’s lives around abundance.

I call these limiting beliefs ‘The 7 Money Myths’, and they are part of a very common belief system that is organized around a core belief in SCARCITY – or “There is not enough.”

What I find in my belief healing work with clients, is that underneath the 7 Money Myths belief system of “There is not enough” lies a deeper wound of the psyche – and that’s the idea that “I am not enough.”

What I’ve come to discover is that these deeper wounds often have multiple limiting belief systems attached to them.

Take the wound: “I am not enough.” I definitely find that this wound is strongly associated with issues around abundance and not having “enough” money, time, or freedom in life. And yet, I also seeing it playing out strongly in the realm of relationships (not feeling lovable) and even health (not loving yourself enough to care for your body).

This is really exciting, because if you can heal one of these really deep wounds, it means that you can heal multiple belief systems all at once.

Some of the more common deep inner wounds I’ve come across are:

  • I’m not okay, just the way I am (there’s something inherently wrong with me)
  • I’m not loved (or I’m not loved unless I do X,Y,Z)
  • I’m not worthy
  • I’m not lovable
  • I’m a fraud
  • I’m not safe
  • I’m alone
  • I’m forsaken

So how do we heal these deep inner wounds?

What I’m finding is that wound healing is all about LOVE. Love is the only balm that heals these deep inner wounds. It sounds so simple in theory, but what does that look like in practice?

3 LOVEly Inner Wound Healing Techniques

#1 The ‘Perfect Baby’ Visualisation

About a year ago I shared a wonderful visualisation which I have now come to call the ‘Perfect Baby’ Visualisation in this blog post. I’ve been doing this visualisation myself for over a year now, and the results have been astounding.

The biggest shift has been that I no longer feel like I need to prove myself so much to other people. A quiet, calm and centred inner confidence and a true sense of self worth has taken deeper root within me, and it’s affecting every aspect of my life in a wonderfully positive way.

It’s a super simple and quick exercise to do the visualisation, and I highly recommend it as a regular practice that can make a HUGE difference if you stick with it.

Here’s a quick excerpt from the blog post where I share that visualisation

If we believe that we are “not enough” just the way that we are, then we will constantly be trying to fill that hole, or compensate for that sense of inadequacy. Maybe with material things. Maybe with achievements. Maybe by pleasing others… there are lots of ways we do this, all of which are doomed to failure. BECAUSE unless we heal that fundamental wound, no matter what strategies we use to compensate for it, they will never be enough. The belief in “not enough” just begets more not enough-ness.

Here are some of the ways this deep emotional wound can show up for you:

 

  • You feel like no matter what  you do, it’s never quite good enough…
  • You’re on a constant treadmill of working or striving to improve yourself, without stopping to smell the roses…
  • You bend over backwards to please people
  • You give and give, but find it hard to receive
  • You feel less than OK about your body, or find it hard to accept the way you look
  •  You say sorry a lot… or conversely, maybe you feel irritable a lot of the time
  •  You get some relief from these feelings by shopping, or drinking, eating, working, watching TV, sleeping or maybe even exercising… but the relief doesn’t last

Personally I’m realizing how important it is to heal the wound of “I am not enough.” I’m also realizing that for many people (myself included) the wound opened up very early in life… probably when I was still a baby or a young toddler.

#2 Self-Compassion Practice

I’m a member of a wonderful mastermind group run by one of my great mentors, Jeff Walker. On the surface, this mastermind group is about business and marketing. But we actually spend the most time talking about our inner game. Self-compassion was a huge topic at our last meeting.

Margaret Lynch (the author of Tapping Into Wealth, available on Amazon here is one of the amazing women in the group, and she put it this way:

“Self-compassion is the bleeding edge of ‘I should have’ and ‘I could have’…”Margaret Lynch (margaretmlynch.com)

So whenever we are listening to our inner critic voice that’s saying “I should have done… I’m so stupid!” or “I wish I’d done that, how come I can never think of these things in the moment?” … what we’re basically telling ourselves is “I’m not enough. The way I do things is not good enough. I’m not strong enough, smart enough, tall enough, pretty enough, charming enough… etc.”  

This is when we need to practice self-compassion. I find a helpful idea is to acknowledge that “I am always doing my best”. And in any given situation, my best is all I can give. It may not be perfect. I may have more to learn. I may want to grow into more mastery… but right now, in this moment, all I can do is my best. And right now, in this moment, my best is good enough. I am good enough.

#3 Letting Go of Judgment

Another powerful way to start healing the wound of “not enough” is to practice letting go of judgment. Of ourselves and others.

When it comes to letting go of my judgment of others, I try to remind myself that “everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

When letting go of judgment of myself, I try to remember that I took on a lot of my beliefs when I was really young, and at that time I didn’t have a way of deciding if the things I was choosing to believe were going to be helpful to me in the long term.

My subconscious beliefs drive most of my behaviour. So judging myself for carrying limiting or faulty beliefs is like blaming the patient for being unwell. It doesn’t help. What does help is to focus on healing my deep inner wounds and limiting beliefs instead.

As always, let me know in the comments if this has helped you in any way.

To YOUR Abundance,

Julie Ann Cairns

Julie Ann Cairns

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