Do you believe that you’re enough, just the way you are?
Some people don’t. Maybe even most people don’t.
If you don’t, you’re not alone. I’m right there with you a lot of the time!
A true belief in the inherent goodness of yourself, of your heart and your soul, from your head to your toes, and in every fibre of your being… is, unfortunately, rare.
Sometimes we can feel like we’re “not enough” (not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not cool enough)… and then sometimes we – especially women – can feel like we’re “too much” (too loud, too opinionated, too pushy, too masculine).
Instead of believing that we’re just right, wonderfully unique and an absolutely divine being on a perfectly unfolding spiritual adventure of growing, learning and becoming.
Even if you do muster up a positive “I am enough” belief sometimes… it can seem like the world is conspiring to tear that belief down on a daily basis by promoting unattainable standards of both beauty and behaviour, with goalposts that are constantly shifting.
This is where the dreaded “imposter syndrome” comes from – the suspicion that you’re not good enough and soon everyone will find out about that. This is where the tendency to compare yourself to others can come from, causing a feeling that you’re somehow coming up short or not keeping up. This is where we get lost and confused.
If we believe that we are “not enough” just the way that we are, then we will constantly be trying to fill that hole, or compensate for that sense of inadequacy. Maybe with material things. Maybe with achievements. Maybe by pleasing others.
There are lots of ways we do this, all of which are doomed to failure. Because unless we heal that fundamental wound, no matter what strategies we use to compensate for it, they will never be enough. The belief in “not enough” just begets more not enough-ness.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about beliefs, especially the beliefs that hold people back from creating freedom, choice and abundance in their lives.
I wrote a bestselling book on this topic actually, published by Hay House, called “The Abundance Code: How to Bust the 7 Money Myths for a Rich Life Now” (available on Amazon). In the book I talk about the 7 core beliefs about money that most people have lurking in their subconscious minds which prevent them from living the life of their dreams.
In some ways we can view these faulty beliefs like wounds in our psyche that are calling out to be healed.
Of all the 7 Money Myths (and I call them myths because they aren’t really true)… the central limiting belief is the belief in Scarcity. The belief that there’s NOT ENOUGH to go around. It’s this belief that causes us to act from a place of fear, and actually blocks us from allowing true abundance to flow into our lives.
What I’ve discovered over the years, is that sitting underneath that Scarcity belief of “there is not enough” is usually another, deeper belief…which is the belief that “I am not enough.”
This is one of the deepest wounds of them all!
Here are some of the ways this deep emotional wound can show up for you:
· You feel like no matter what you do, it’s never quite good enough
· You bend over backwards to please people
· You give and give, but find it hard to receive
· You feel less than okay about your body, and find it hard to fully love the way you look
· You say sorry a lot… or conversely, maybe you feel irritable (critical of others) or critical of yourself a lot of the time
· You get some relief from these feelings by shopping, or drinking, eating, working, watching TV, sleeping or maybe even exercising… but the relief doesn’t last
Personally, I’m realising how important it is to heal the wound of “I am not enough.” I’m also realising that for many people (myself included) the wound opened up very early in life… probably when I was still a baby or a young toddler.
Here’s how I’m bringing my attention to a process of allowing this deep wound to be healed: I’ve started visualising myself as a baby, being held by an incredibly loving and gentle motherly figure. She’s looking deep into my eyes, cooing and telling me that I am beautiful just the way I am, and oh so loved. She’s rocking me gently in her arms, and unconditional love pours out from her eyes into mine.
(You could visualise this person as your own mother…but if that doesn’t feel congruent for you then maybe visualise a loving female role model, earth mother, or even a goddess-like figure.)
I spend a few minutes at a time visualising this and, most importantly, FEELING that unconditional motherly love pouring into me. I feel that this practice is helping me to heal that deep inner wound, and I know that this will serve to open me up to new levels of abundance in my life.
I created a meditation for you that does this whole process in just 10 minutes. I actually created the meditation for myself originally, and I did it nearly every day for a year to make sure it worked. The results I got in boosting my own self esteem were enormous!
So now, I’m sharing it with you…
You can listen to it on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcBvpKEKAMQ
(I apologise for the ads at the beginning… that’s YouTube!)
To YOUR Abundance
Julie Ann Cairns
P.S. If this post was helpful for you, I’d love to hear from you about why. Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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